Spike Milligan: Man of Letters, review

Spike Milligan's eccentric and imaginative humour influenced a generation of comedians – Eddie Izzard called him "the Godfather of alternative comedy" – and his zaniness shines through in Spike Milligan: Man of Letters, a new collection of correspondence published 11 years after he died at the age of 83 on February 27 2002.

Along with letters to famous politicians and best-selling musicians, there are missives to ordinary folk on surprising subjects. Milligan, who was born on April 16 1918 loved to take up cudgels, whether against people who allowed their dogs to defecate in the street (one urging the police to prosecute a specific dog owner was headed "Milligan versus Dog Shit, Case Number 2") or just in fun at the introduction of round tea bags. In 1990, Milligan wrote to the Marketing Director of Tetley Tea:

Dear Ken,
Can you tell me when you changed from square to round tea bags, what did you do with corners?
Sincerely,
Spike Milligan

Next to a rather stiff reply ("any excess material is carefully disposed of"), Milligan scrawled: "No bloody sense of humour".

^{Comedian Spike Milligan wrote more than 80 books, of fiction, memoir, poetry, plays and children's stories}

Milligan complained to the Imperial War Museum about their Muzak for telephone callers put on hold ("three bars of Brahms, chopped up like sausage") and he wrote a letter to jazz club boss Ronnie Scott moaning about the terrible seat he had been allocated to watch Buddy Rich ("whoever invented that table invented a guide dog for the deaf"). Music was always important to Milligan and he seems genuinely touched by a letter from an Australia orchestra asking if they could perform one of his musical scores. He sent back his thanks "from an old time jazz trumpet player" (Milligan was quite a good trumpeter and once appeared in a televised concert with George Melly). He loved musicians and among the best correspondence in the book are his bantering letters to and from Elton John.

He wasn't always a sunny man, of course, and occasionally went over the top. He refers to poor old TV scriptwriter Ray Cooney as a c--t four times within a very brief letter to Eric Sykes. The BBC are also a target ("creeps" with an "idiot hierarchy") and he was frequently angry. Among the people who received long letters of complaint are his Barnet representative Margaret Thatcher, including about the Mulards in London parks. He wrote to newspapers all the time, including The Telegraph, especially about population control.

Milligan often found time to reply to letters from strangers and there is a touching reply to a woman who has mental health problems in which he says:

"I wish I could help you more. Next Step God".

Above all, though, it is the letters showing his silly side that are the most enjoyable. After a dispute over a parking fine, he wrote to Manchester's Deputy Chief Constable saying:

"I am now in the process of inventing an edible car"

and had no qualms about being daft with royalty, writing to his friend HRH Prince of Wales

"As to a wedding present, would you like India back?"

^{Spike Milligan and Prince Charles in 2001 PA}

He loved adding a p.s. to letters and the best is to actor Peter O'Toole:

'P.S. I saw God on the bus'

To old Goons comrade Harry Secombe he wrote:

Dear Harry,
Thank you so much for your book – I suppose now you want me to read it.
Love, light and peace,
Spike Milligan

What ultimately shines through in the book (which is edited by his former agent Norma Farnes) is his love of words, even if it was just sending a poem to children. The kids at Borrow Wood Junior School in Derby must have been thrilled to get a poem with the lines:

Mr Allsopp your master/
is a one-man disaster.

The tomfoolery wasn't restricted to kids. In 1990 he replied to the President of the Cambridge Union about an invitation to speak, writing:

Dear Cameron,
Thank you for your letter of 10th January. I would be useless at this debate primarily because I have been dead for 24 years now. Apart from that, I hate scientists and I hate artists. In fact, I hate everybody, including you, do tell them that is why I am not at the debate.
Can the whole university please stand on the hour of midnight and think of me, it might cure my haemorrhoids, you never know.
Sincerely,
Spike Milligan.

Spike Milligan was a man of letters indeed.